after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
