My first STD was from a foam party
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
