maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
