you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
