its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
