I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
