At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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