3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
