i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We got so high we made milksteak
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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