Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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