Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
