ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
