i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
