in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
