dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
