i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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