as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
