I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
