She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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