Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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