i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
