is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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