I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
