waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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