Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
