Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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