Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
