I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
