I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
