Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
