she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
