operation harelip BJ is a go
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
