some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
