There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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