Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We are two peas in an std pod
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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