That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
