WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
