This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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