I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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