just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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