Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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