You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
