so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
