xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had to cum in my sink.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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