Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize