its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
