i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
