Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
