put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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