Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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