Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
