who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
