doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
