Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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