So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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