I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
