HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize