Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
